Rain + Coffee

The rain dropped
as the sky has turned Gray.


Cold breeze embraced me
as I stared outside the window.


I stirred my coffee
and held its cup,


my eyes following
every swirls of its steam,


and closed my eyes
as I sip this Ambrosia.


"Perferct weather"
I muttered.

Separation?

A few days ago, he told me about the possibility of him being sent to Australia. I didn't mind it that much. Perhaps because I refused to talk about it that time. But he keeps bringing it up.


Today, he brought it up again. And told me that he's preparing his emotions and admitted how he feels and what he thinks.
My emotion suddenly turned on like a switch. Tears just welled up that I had to hide my face. I buried it on his chest. I cannot stop the tears from falling.


Just thinking about it makes me sad. Took me a lot of seconds to answer him why I'm crying.
"I would be sad if you go" I whispered.


He wiped my tears and tried to cheer me up. But they just kept coming back. Until he too cried.


Now that I'm home, I still can feel the burden. The idea of being separated from him for a long time.


When I texted him to give me a ring, I actually cried.


Will I be able to overcome that? I love him. And if he does leave, I want to wait for his return.


But I am also considering the possibility of me getting weak. I might get interested to other people. I might do something not good since he's away. I don't want that to happen.


That is why I always spend time with him. If we are always together, I will have no reason to look at others.


I am afraid of myself. Not him.


Add the fact that I attract people. Cheating would be easy.


I don't want to do that. I love him very much. I don't want to hurt him. I want to stay faithful to him.

I want to give all of me to him only.


I guess, I would just hide. Until he returns. That way, I won't be able to get connected with other people and avoid the possibility of me taking interest on them.

Trash talk

I tend to use foul words as an expression. Like "bullshit" for people who do wrong to me, "fuck you" for people who make me laugh, and other illogical use of words.

Then some people would complain about it. A lecture about morality and "delicadeza".

And I think that's a bullshit too. Because it is evident that my deeds are more aligned in being "good" than those people who don't use foul words yet do evil to their fellow.

Just like how I can shout "motherfucker" while playing LOL but not use foul words to my siblings and hurt their feelings while other people won't shout foul words randomly but act indifferent or worse to their siblings (even other people).

Actions speak louder than words. And I don't understand why people can't see beyond the surface.

Perhaps the humanity has been consumed with this "morality" thing or "standard etiquette" or whatever that is one of the greatest lies in the world.

I should brew my coffee now or else I will have another thinking session about how the humans can be bullshit. Lol.

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Types of Coslayers in the Philippines

So, what is Cosplay?

Cosplay is the shortened word for "costume" + "play" which was coined by someone in the West but I don't fucking know who it is because I'm too lazy to Google or Bing it.

Anyway, Cosplay is imitating your character of choice. It can be an anime character or a game character or a movie character or a cartoon character, etc. You dress up like that character. You may also act like him/her and the like.

(Some ignorant people say that cosplayers are insane. Just like how they can admire "Frozen" but say that people who watch cartoons are "immature". lol. "Let it go" and the "Frozen" characters themselves have become famous in the world.)

Moving on, here are the types of Cosplayers (well, according to my observations) you will find in the Philippines:

1. The high-lev models.

- Oooooooohhhh. Probably you have already seen them. And no, these models are girls of course. Because only girls have curves and boobs you know :v

- They are those girls flocked with guys and of course they attract most of the photographers. They look so pretty and adorable that could be an enough reason for guys to think that they want to take them home.

- Most of the time they are wearing revealing costumes. Try to ask them about the character they are coplaying and the anime or series it came from, if they can answer it correct, tell me and let's celebrate.

2. The "You-thought-she's-a-gamer-girl" cosplayer

- Cosplayers who cosplay game characters like Katarina, Caitlyn, Sona, and Ahri from League of Legends. Others cosplay some characters from DOTA but not that much anymore since majority of the people who go to conventions play LOL.

- These cosplayers cosplay the characters from the games that are being played by majority of the male population. Why? Because the more famous the game is, then the more fans and stalkers they can earn. Ask them if they play the character they are wearing.

3. The Traps

- As much as there are many traps in Anime, there are traps too in Cosplay. It is not "gay" or "tomboy" dude. It's called "crossdressing" which means dressing up as the opposite sex and has nothing to do with gender (unless...).

- Girls who cosplay as males and males who cosplay as girls. It's pretty cool. But not if you realize that a male can be more beautiful than you and a girl can be more handsome than you XDD

- These cosplayers don't receive much attention as the two cosplayers above. I dunno.

- Why be a trap? Because it's fun. I'll discuss that in the next article.

4. The Warriors

- Usually the male cosplayers. Why Warrior? Because they usually cosplay characters in armor (or mecha). They are cool too. It's not easy to craft you know. Unless you just bought them from a shop. They usually hold weapons too. Some female cosplayers do this too. Like Erza from Fairy Tail.

5. The Lolis

- What is loli? Pretty much self-explanatory.

- But if you are an idiot, then here it is: petite girls. and usually flat. Usually chased by big bears that you might not wanna know why. Be careful little girls.

6. The True Ones

- The people who actually know the character they cosplay. They know the story and all the stuffs in it. They might even delve in too deep that they might not even realize if their wigs start to come off or if they start to break sense from reality. Just kidding.

- These cosplayers are now rare because most of the cosplayers nowadays cosplay for fashion and attention only.

- They don't really mind if their costume is not that close to the real one but are perfectionist when it comes to portraying the character's behavior.

7. The Costrippers (not to be confused with the word 'strip')

- People who costrip. They usually just wear wigs then wander in the convention. They aren't really portraying a specific character. They just enjoy it. They like being their natural selves.

8. The Earnest

- People who cosplay only one character in all events. It could be that the character they are portraying is just their favorite or they are not willing to spend that much in cosplay (because cosplay is expensive dude).

9. The Newborns

- People who are just new in the cosplay community yet act as if they are "experts".

- Most of them create their own page right away. And I don't understand why. Because if it were me, I would be too lazy to upload pictures in my FB profile then upload again in my page. Talk about redundant.

Take note: A cosplayer is not limited to only one type.

If you are wondering why there are no pictures here, well, I'm too lazy for that.

Sorry if I disappointed you by not posting pictures of sexy or cute cosplayers.

(Well, I'm not sorry. Why should I be? Create your own page for that.)

Running late to work

5:35am. I am running late to my work which should be 7am. I ride my father's motor bike and it usually takes 2 hours to get to our work.

How to find your perfect match

Note: This article is based on my experience and preferences. It may not apply to everyone of you.


I wasn't really looking for a partner. I decided not to take part in a relarionship again after my first boyfriend broke up with me.


I was the type who wanted my first boyfriend to also be my husband. I guess I'm not lucky to achieve that. You learn lessons in your mistakes though.


I would like to share how I found my perfect match, who is my current partner and the man I intend to marry.


1. We were friends. Being the introvert we are, we met each other online, in FB. Friends of friends. We both have the same interests and way of thinking. Sometimes, we would chat about our observations on people and our ideas. I knew him even before I met my ex.


If you have become friends, surely, you know what he/ she is like and he/she would be the same to you. You have an idea of how you guys think, behave, and a lot more. In short, you know each other very well.


Don't accept courtship from people whom you do not personally know. Avoid people who rush you to accept them. Think about it, how would a stranger know you as a person when you two aren't close? Does he/she know your hobbies? Your interests? Your way of thinking? Your behaviour? Teenagers love to flirt. They get excited with the idea of love and having a partner. Some people also have wrong perceptions about love. More importantly, do you personally know him/her?


2. Personality test. I love reading stuffs about personality. My top 2 personality typing are the MBTI or Jungean typology and the Enneagram. I just like how it can describe me and other people's personality. You take a test and the result will give you an idea of who you are. It can also help you know yourself better. With that being said, I use this to get to know people more. I ask them to take the test and give me the result. I will then have an idea of who they are. My partner was one of the first batch of my friends in FB whom I asked to take some tests. There, I found out that we are of the same kind. We are both INTJ (one type in MBTI) and also, we are both type 5 (one type in Enneagram). That means, we are like a mirror of each other! It's rare to find someone like me you know. Someone who have the same thinking, interests, and behaviour as me. From there, I concluded that we would definitely get each other. We can understand each other and not have a problem.


Some people think it's weird when you ask them to take the personality tests, even when you discuss it to them. Well, my partner is also interested in Psychology so our eyes lit up on this one.


3. Same hobbies and interest. How can you enjoy if you two have different hobbies and interests? I wanted someone I can share my hobbies with. And my partner has those. We are both anime fanatic, we both play Visual Novels, we both play computer games, we are both interested in Psychology, etc. And so, we do the things we love to do together. It was great!


4. I think that's all. XD Befriend, get to know him/her, take the personality test, and decide if you two are a perfect match haha. Don't underestimate the personality tests bro. =w= It can tell a lot about a person.

Venice Piazza for Cosplay Photoshoot

I just noticed that some cosplayers and photographers are taking interest in this place. They want to do their photoshoot here which they refer as"McKinley Bridge".

Venice Piazza Grand Canal. Bonifacio Global City (BGC) Taguig.

Since I was in an adventure yesterday, I decided to pay a visit here.

Now I know why some cosplayers would like to do their photoshoot here. I'm just curious though, why mention or focus only on the bridge? Because every time that I view their discussions, people mention only the "bridge". And I was thinking, "What bridge could that be? I bet that would be just a small one and we can't do the photoshoot there, so I'm not going."

Still, the cosplay should be in sync with the theme of this place. The first anime that came to my mind was Kuroshitsuji.

Because look, the venue is Renaissance-inspired. I just thought that butlers like Sebastian Michaelis and masters like Ciel Phantomhive would look good here. The place is colorful though. I would prefer dark colors for them. =u=

Hmm, café-themed cosplays would be good too.

I wouldn't want to see people cosplaying characters with costumes that are inappropriate for this place. (Gomen haha)

Just, think of cosplays that would blend in this place.

Besides, cosplayers should keep in mind that this place is surrounded with companies. Meaning, workplace. Most of the people that you will encounter here are working professionals. (Though my bf said those are just jeje-professionals lol)

My point is, you are in the middle of somewhere which has a professional setting.

If you are working in an office, you know what I mean.

It would feel like cosplaying in my workplace, which would be embarrassing.

But if you are kids who still appears to be in their innocent years, you can cosplay here XD

I'm not saying the young adults cannot cosplay here, it would just take some guts.

I will only cosplay here if we do have a permit. I don't wanna bust in here in my cosplay and be chased by the guards.

By the way, this place opens only at 11am. There's a restroom too so you can change clothes there, it is located just near the entrance.

Inside, you will find restaurants like Tokyo Tokyo and the others which are more expensive XD

I think they are still working with the rooms so you can expect more stuffs in it in the future. As of now, they have only restaurants.

(I was standing on the "bridge" and here's the view on my right.)

(The view on my left. Do you see the bridge over there which has boats under it?

I like that one. I wasn't able to confirm if we can ride those boats. I bet that would be expensive.)

(Still the view on my right, some restos.)

(The bridge that will welcome you upon entrance. Many people take pictures here

which is why my bf calls it "Jeje bridge". It's just a small bridge.)

By entrance I mean the one where you will pass by the Robinsons Selections:

(That green wall over there is where you will find elevators. The people standing over there

are the guards. Just walk straight to them. That's the way to the bridge. I was in the restos place when

I took this picture. When you're there, the only path would be on your right, the restroom is also there.)

How to get here?

I don't know. XD

But, here's my route:

From Gate 3 Plaza, I rode a jeepney going to McKinley. That's it. Then find a way to find the internal bus (in front of Mini Stop or 7/11, I can't remember which one XD) Ride that then drop off somewhere the Robinsons Selections is. Just ask the people there lol

Danger

Last night, the men in our neighborhood had a meeting. Some residents claimed that a man armed with a gun has been walking in our neighborhood for 2 nights now, every midnight.


Everyone was alarmed. They have reported it already to the barangay captain. The captain had alarmed the officers which is why they had a meeting. They decided to take turns in pantrolling. My father took the Saturday shift. He said I should live with my godmother in another city for now since it's dangerous in our place.


He must have been alarmed and I, being the first child who is also a girl, am in danger. Because who knows, that armed guy could be a kidnapper or rapist.

Internship

Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to find an intrnship, I got an invitation for interview in a company. I went there with a few of my classmates who also do not have internship yet.


I got accepted.


It's a good company. They are warm as to welcoming their guests. They asked us what we would like to have from Starbucks and gave it to us for free. Definitely a plus point for me because I love coffee XD Plus, lunch is free aside from the weekly allowance. On most companies, there is no allowance especially the free lunch. It's a great help since I'm broke.


For some reasons, I got appointed as the Project Manager although I have no experience. I have no idea as to how to estimate the time that an IT task will get finished and how to really do it. My knowledge is half business and half IT so I am not really a great programmer. I just do simple websites, experimenting with website tools and stuffs.


It's a surprising matter since I am not active in extra-curricular activies in College. I do not participate that much in organizations much less be an officer there. Most of my activities are done outside school, like cosplay and trying out some business. But I did not mention that to the senior manager during my interview.


I hope it goes well. I hope to learn a lot.

Possession

I thought I knew myself very well,
A logical individual,
A rational person.

Actions and decisions are based on thinking.
Emotion is deprived.

But as I spend my time with you,
the more that I become irrational.

I hate this.
I hate feeling.

I suddenly feel something that I cannot control.
Even if I do my best to fight it with logical reasons, it does not work.

It will alwaysprevail.
This annoying emotion.

I end up doing things
I would not like to do.

I want you.
But I think, it's different now.

I want your eyes to look only at me.
I want your whole attention.

I am like a greedy child.
Holding on to her toy,
not wanting to share it.

Or should I say "selfish" instead?

I don't know.
I didn't know I could be like this.

I can't be like this.

I hate you.

Confusion

I am currently confused as to which decision shall I make. I'm in the middle of two different minds and it's tormenting me. The mind of my parents and my own mind. We might have some similarities but of course I am not them. I'm not a clone of their whole being therefore I have my own unique mind. I have my own thinking, decision, and values.

They would always confuse me. Whenever I try to argue my point of view, they will direct the discussion to their own point of view. They are absolute. Then when the worst comes, they would say that I should have explained to them. I tried, but they simply did not care or maybe did not understand. So most of the time, I will just stay silent and display a face void of any emotion. Even when they are already angry or mocking me.

I'm not saying that they are purely bad, they're good parents, just with a flaw, like everyone of us. It's just hard to deal with their flaws sometimes. Especially with someone like me who have my own rules. I break their rules you know.

We've been through a lot. I've been through a lot of confusions. As of now, my confusion is whether to work and support my family's needs as well as earn money for my enrollment next semester, or, go for the on-the-job training (OJT) next sem. My parents say I should work then leave the work when my OJT comes up. I'll be having my OJT in a couple of months. I cannot just leave the work, it has a contract of course, and the minimum stay is 5 months. I cannot juggle between work and OJT (I also have my second and last thesis next sem too!), I'm not some mutant or hero or whatever.

The job interview will be tomorrow. I don't know if I would really go.

Especially now that the defense for my first thesis is coming up (this week).

It's confusing. They even got mad when I told them I would like to back out from the job interview. I've already spent money for the medical exam for that job.

Haah.